Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My pussy is not your playground.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
ok first of all what the fuck
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
