his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
