I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
