How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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