the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
