im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Randomize