How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
sex in a hospital.. check
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
