I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
