This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
