So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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