Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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