Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
