i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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