Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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