this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
