I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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