Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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