She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
false alarm. still invincible.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
