I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
