I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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