12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
