Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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