I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
