So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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