So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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