Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
