Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
