I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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