I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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