he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
