Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think I died a long time ago.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
