I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
