I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
