Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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