she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
