He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My feet surprised me
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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