This is not my ceiling
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Is it because I queefed?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
