she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
