BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
