i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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