Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
