Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
you inspire me to be a worse person
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
