My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
