They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
