kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
