You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
