If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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