It's Friday. Sex?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
