batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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