I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
