Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
