youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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