Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize