Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize