yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
