So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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