I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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