i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
